T.P. Crockmiers really surprised me here with a pretty great burger named The “Big 60” Burger. The originality aspect garnered a lot of points being that each condiment was there to pay homage to Mobile’s pride and joy, the USS Alabama and her crew. The 8oz patty was grilled to a perfect medium with melted cheddar cheese blanketing it on all sides which provided a great sharpness to each bite. The pineapple was grilled bringing out a caramelized pineapple flavor that paired nicely with the spice from the jalapeños. They both played off each other in harmony for a sweet and spicy note throughout the entire burger. The pickles and BBQ sauce provided a pleasant tangy punch. The bacon was cooked to perfection and added a salty crunch. The lettuce, tomato, and onion offered great texture and just the right amount of compliment to highlight the tangy and sweet notes. The brioche bun was toasted wonderfully and had a great mouth feel with each bite. The only down side was the amount of liquid this burger had on it which the bottom bun could not handle. The juicy pineapple, runny bbq sauce, canned jalapeños, and juicy patty really caused the bottom bun to get unpleasantly soggy in a short amount of time. We ordered two burgers at ate at two different speeds. Mine was inhaled while the other was eaten at a more reasonable speed which really saw the effects of the liquid seeping down to the bottom bun causing the last few bites to be an open faced burger because the bottom bun was turned to an unpleasant mush. I think a little longer on toasting the bun, fresh jalapeños, and little thinker bbq would fix that a little. The presentation was wonderful as each ingredient looked to be placed with the purpose of being posted on social media. This burger came with the option of a multitude of sides which I did not like because of the different experiences that might not have been intended by the chef. There are reason’s certain wines pair better with certain foods and the same is true with the accoutrements of a burger. I want to see a chef take charge from the top down on the whole experience including the pairing of the perfect side and the experience he or she wants for the guests. I ended up ordering the whipped red potatoes, but was disappointed with the lack of flavor and spice. The burger was $15 and I believe that’s a fair price overall. At the end of the meal and after heavy discussions I have given T.P. Crockmiers’ “Big 60” Burger 4 patties for service, 3 patties for presentation, 3 patties for taste, 3 patties for condiments, 1 patty for accoutrements, 3 patties for value, and 5 patties for originality bring their grand total to 3 patties out of 5.

“BOB’S MULE BURGER” – 8oz ground beef patty, pineapple, blue cheese crumbles, Pico de Gallo, lettuce, and seasoning.

Bob’s Downtown Diner is know for their fantastic breakfasts and I feel like an opportunity was missed by not creating a breakfast burger, but none-the-less the burger they came up with had great opportunity, but ultimately fell short on the delivery and quality. Let’s first start with the positives. The 8oz patty was well seasoned and cooked to a perfect medium and the blue cheese crumbles added the right bit of funky flavor. From there the quality starts to decline though. The Pico de Gallo was barely there and what little was put on lacked any real flavor and freshness. The pineapple was the most disappointing part of the whole burger. It was not a fresh cut of pineapple that one would assume would be on a burger during a week devoted to bringing the best possible burgers to the people. It lacked any color and had a grade school cafeteria fruit cup kind of vibe. It was clearly scooped from a can of pre-sliced pineapples soaked in its own juices of sadness and disappointment. The bun added little to the burger as well being a generic, plain white bread bun which was not buttered or toasted. There was chopped lettuce thrown on the burger, but was plain and boring, lacking in taste and texture. The presentation was also given little to no thought. The burger had a steak knife sticking out of the top as if it were pretending to be of higher quality or letting us know it was dead before ever entering our mouths. The French fries had decent color and okay seasoning, but were clearly frozen and had a mealy texture on the inside. They were just tossed on the plate with no regard to presentation, like a person with long hair getting all dressed for work and forgetting to fix his or her tangled mess of hair from the night before. There was a mayonnaise packet tossed on the plate and it was accompanied by a generic bottle of ketchup, but no amount of either could fix the mess that was placed before us. The burger cost $12.50 and at that price one would expect a lot more (at least grill the pineapple). Overall we rate this burger 2 patties for service, taste, and originality, but only 1 patty for presentation, condiments, accoutrements, and value for an overall score of 1.5 patties out of 5. It is an average burger trying to pass as more than it can deliver on. Hopefully next year they lean into their strengths and create a breakfast burger like no one has seen before.

From October 5 through October 12, we will be reviewing 19 burgers from 18 different restaurants in Mobile, Alabama participating in the first ever Mobtown Burger Week put on by Restore Mobile which is a nonprofit organization dedicated to revitalizing blighted homes and neighborhoods in Mobile’s iconic historic districts. They invest in neglected historic, vacant houses, frequently saving them from demolition. They then, stabilize or fully renovate them and sell them to home owners or private developers, reinvesting the proceeds into the next threatened house.

The 18 restaurants and descriptions of their creations can be found here, http://www.mobtownburgerweek.com

Up first is Bob’s Downtown Diner followed by TP Crockmiers. Reviews will be coming out Monday for both!

I believe the burger is the perfect food. It has unlimited possibilities that can be changed and altered to fit different cultures and time periods that can then be shared with the world. They can be futuristic, pushing the boundaries of what a burger can be or it can be a time capsule, perfectly capturing the essence of the people who paved the way before us. It can be dressed down or dressed up, inexpensive or expensive, down home or fine dining, but regardless of where it comes, how much it costs or what comes on it, everyone, everywhere can be brought to different parts of the world with just one bite, and those bites deserve to be reviewed, which is where I come in. I have developed my reviewing scales to be comprehensive and tough because I want to give you the honest truth on the burgers I taste so you can save time and money. I want you to know where the best burgers are and where to avoid the ones that don’t hold up.

There are seven categories in which I will be reviewing each burger. Each category will have a possible 5 burgers (🍔) with five being the best and one being the worst. The categories are, presentation, taste, service, condiments, accoutrements, value, and originality.

🍔 Not So Good

🍔🍔 Average

🍔🍔🍔 Above Average

🍔🍔🍔🍔 Very Good

🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔 Mind Blowing

Presentation is key. It is the first impression that will affect the rest of the burger’s overall experience. If the burger looks unappealing it better taste like heaven to have a fighting chance of a good score.

Taste is up next and this better be on point. Burgers that look good, but lack taste are sad. They have no friends.

Service is of utmost importance and it includes all aspects of service, from the front desk greeting, to the ambience, to the professionalism of the server. If the atmosphere surrounding the burger is poor then the burger probably will be too. If the person serving the burger isn’t excited or proud of what is being placed in front of you then how are you going to get excited? This is a category that encompasses the thoughts and atmosphere surrounding the burger. It all plays into the value and overall experience of the burger.

Condiments are important. I do not believe in dressing a burger up. I want to taste the chef’s idea of what experience they want to portray, not dress it up to the way I think it should taste. At the same time, I do not want pointless condiments on my burgers. If lettuce, tomato, and raw onions don’t make sense, then don’t put them on. Putting them on because “that’s what all burgers have” is just a pointless filler and I do not nor will not accept pointless fillers.

Accoutrements are the friends that help the burger shine. I am all for a french fry, but I do not like them as second thoughts. I want sides to compliment the burger’s flavors and textures. The sides should be the perfect sidekick, the same as Robin is to Batman or Chewbacca is to Han Solo, or jelly is to peanut butter. They complete each other.

Value is important for every consumer of products. I do not mind spending premium prices, but that better come with premium taste and overall experience. We only get so many experiences on this world and I do not want to waste them.

Originality is hard to find these days, but it’s worth chasing. Show me something new and open my mind to new possibilities that I had no idea I ever wanted.

With each burger, I will take these seven areas of critique and give an overall score for you. I am an ordinary guy who loves burgers and this is my public service so that you can be made aware of the best and worst burgers Mobile, AL and maybe more places have to offer.

Thanks for joining me! I’m here to eat burgers and give you my honest reviews, the good, the bad, and the mediocre. Here’s to buttered buns, melted cheese, and delicious patties. Now let’s go eat.

“Burgers are blank canvas’ designed to express the flavors of cultures and regions that break boundaries and open hearts to new and wonderful experiences.” – Joey Dawson