My Review Standards

I believe the burger is the perfect food. It has unlimited possibilities that can be changed and altered to fit different cultures and time periods that can then be shared with the world. They can be futuristic, pushing the boundaries of what a burger can be or it can be a time capsule, perfectly capturing the essence of the people who paved the way before us. It can be dressed down or dressed up, inexpensive or expensive, down home or fine dining, but regardless of where it comes, how much it costs or what comes on it, everyone, everywhere can be brought to different parts of the world with just one bite, and those bites deserve to be reviewed, which is where I come in. I have developed my reviewing scales to be comprehensive and tough because I want to give you the honest truth on the burgers I taste so you can save time and money. I want you to know where the best burgers are and where to avoid the ones that don’t hold up.

There are seven categories in which I will be reviewing each burger. Each category will have a possible 5 burgers (🍔) with five being the best and one being the worst. The categories are, presentation, taste, service, condiments, accoutrements, value, and originality.

🍔 Not So Good

🍔🍔 Average

🍔🍔🍔 Above Average

🍔🍔🍔🍔 Very Good

🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔 Mind Blowing

Presentation is key. It is the first impression that will affect the rest of the burger’s overall experience. If the burger looks unappealing it better taste like heaven to have a fighting chance of a good score.

Taste is up next and this better be on point. Burgers that look good, but lack taste are sad. They have no friends.

Service is of utmost importance and it includes all aspects of service, from the front desk greeting, to the ambience, to the professionalism of the server. If the atmosphere surrounding the burger is poor then the burger probably will be too. If the person serving the burger isn’t excited or proud of what is being placed in front of you then how are you going to get excited? This is a category that encompasses the thoughts and atmosphere surrounding the burger. It all plays into the value and overall experience of the burger.

Condiments are important. I do not believe in dressing a burger up. I want to taste the chef’s idea of what experience they want to portray, not dress it up to the way I think it should taste. At the same time, I do not want pointless condiments on my burgers. If lettuce, tomato, and raw onions don’t make sense, then don’t put them on. Putting them on because “that’s what all burgers have” is just a pointless filler and I do not nor will not accept pointless fillers.

Accoutrements are the friends that help the burger shine. I am all for a french fry, but I do not like them as second thoughts. I want sides to compliment the burger’s flavors and textures. The sides should be the perfect sidekick, the same as Robin is to Batman or Chewbacca is to Han Solo, or jelly is to peanut butter. They complete each other.

Value is important for every consumer of products. I do not mind spending premium prices, but that better come with premium taste and overall experience. We only get so many experiences on this world and I do not want to waste them.

Originality is hard to find these days, but it’s worth chasing. Show me something new and open my mind to new possibilities that I had no idea I ever wanted.

With each burger, I will take these seven areas of critique and give an overall score for you. I am an ordinary guy who loves burgers and this is my public service so that you can be made aware of the best and worst burgers Mobile, AL and maybe more places have to offer.